Crying: should we cry less?

It seems I like to cry.

But crying doesn’t solve anything. It fuels emotional streams of consciousness and actually keeps solutions further from your mind.

Crying also fails to prove anything.

We cry because we care but wouldn’t showing you care be better? Actions speak louder than giving into the baser desire to cry. Not crying can actually prove that you care more. Refraining from getting hysterical could lead to reason and solution. Displaying self control could show that you want to take things into real consideration instead of feeling sorry for yourself and expecting attention or leniency because you’re shedding tears.

We also cry because it feels good. Rumors (or studies) say that crying is cleansing and helps to release strong emotions or stress, etc. But are we just, as women, allowed to cry and whine too much?



Most people do not care about their health.

How do I know this?

two slightly overweight men leaning on a waterpark inner tube

I went to Great Wolf Lodge in Williamsburg, Virginia, for two days. It’s an indoor waterpark. Hundreds of random American people with their families in bathing suits were strutting around half naked.

About six people appeared to be in good shape. Two women. Four men. And one woman had obvious surgical help in the chest area, so I can’t be sure of her overall authenticity.

Two days. Ten hours. Hundreds of people. Six of them noticeably in shape (meaning lacking excessive fat on the body with reasonable muscle development).

And what’s funny is that those six people were pointed out in surprise and awe. Like, “damn, look at those abs.”

There were plenty of pot bellies, fat rolls and flabs hanging out everywhere.

What does this tell you?


If you don’t stand against oppression, you stand for it.

“The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.”

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

When you see prejudice or discrimination happening and you make a decision to benefit from it anyway, you become the problem. If you assist the problem, you condone the injustice.

That’s how oppression happens in deep cycles. People cannot just feel neutral about an issue. They must stand firmly against it and be anti-prejudiced.

White privilege feeds on neutrality. White people shrug their shoulders, say “I’m not racist,” and continue benefiting from their privilege. So the cycle continues. The same applies to male privilege or any form of oppression and discrimination.

When you participate in your privilege, you become the problem.

Just an issue that’s been bothering me.


Women are objects.

close up of woman's chest wearing a dress with a deep-v cut to her navel. lots of breast showing.

This woman is oiled up and barely covered on the cover of Cosmopolitan magazine.

The objectification of women? Media and men catch the blame for this one.


The last time I walked down a magazine aisle, the magazines edited by and targeted for females had scantily-clad, made-up and exposed women on their covers. And they are the most successfully sold.

Do media present us with images that we adopt, or do media present us with images that we demand and reinforce? Do we expect a company to tank to avoid objectifying women?


Plus, men are always blamed. It’s always men that objectify women. Walk around. Women are hanging all out there. You think people (not just horny men) aren’t going to look?

Women are responsible for objectifying themselves.

Continue reading

Openly disliking a person should be socially acceptable

An authority figure in my life sucks. But it seems like because we’re babies celebrating mediocrity I have to accept his condescension and disrespect.

See, he is only subtly a bad person. He hasn’t killed anyone, hit anyone, admitted to his “off-the-record” comments, and he keeps his prejudices covert. Plenty of people are wronged by him but because it’s not overt they ignore the issue.

His character flaws: he is a liar, inconsistent, racist, manipulative, a hypocrite, and selfish. He is also arrogant and therefore unapologetic for these flaws.

See examples:

Women are not taught or expected to understand men in American culture

Before I potentially make anyone upset with the following, I’ll kick this discussion off by admitting that I have always been too selfish in relationships to bother with what the other person thought or wanted. I’m trying to change that.

Women are taught that we’re emotional (and that “it’s ok”), and that men aren’t. And men are taught not to be open about their emotions (big boys don’t cry and all that). So women are constantly taking up all the emotional support in a relationship and neglect their men.

It’s tough for women to understand how men operate emotionally because women just talk talk talk about it (to death) and men would rather not. It’s sets up this puzzle for women. It also makes it hard for women to recognize when their men are upset, and/or what could be upsetting them.

What’s the recovery plan?

Trust: How do you nurse it back to health after a mistake?

Trust is essential to relationships but once it’s broken by a lie or something worse, is it impossible to go back?

He “goes missing” for a night, “loses track of his phone” when you text and when he’s usually surgically attached to it, can’t account for a missing condom, lies about running into an ex, keeps passwords secret. Those are just the highlights of dramatic and scary stories I’ve been exposed to.

Would these things have raised interest before a trust-breaking situation?

You’ve decided to forgive. So you have to forget. Or seem like you’ve forgotten. Then you’re hiding and bearing the burden of a situation in which you were wronged. Seems unfair. So most women (and occasionally men) usually lash out and continue to make their partners pay for a mistake.

What’s another option?

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