Women are not taught or expected to understand men in American culture

Before I potentially make anyone upset with the following, I’ll kick this discussion off by admitting that I have always been too selfish in relationships to bother with what the other person thought or wanted. I’m trying to change that.

Women are taught that we’re emotional (and that “it’s ok”), and that men aren’t. And men are taught not to be open about their emotions (big boys don’t cry and all that). So women are constantly taking up all the emotional support in a relationship and neglect their men.

It’s tough for women to understand how men operate emotionally because women just talk talk talk about it (to death) and men would rather not. It’s sets up this puzzle for women. It also makes it hard for women to recognize when their men are upset, and/or what could be upsetting them.

And once you get to a certain point in a relationship, set in your ways, it’s hard to go back and start worrying about the other person. How do you take back all of the neglect and get a man to be willing to give you a second chance after being a selfish taker, and let you to try to relearn him the way he really is?

Or, could women really tuck away their outbursts, let the little things go, and manage to learn their men without their knowing? Now that would be a feat I’m dying to learn to accomplish. But then the next question is: is it too late?

See, men are great emotional survivors. They cope and adapt to emotional neglect well and establish patterns to protect themselves and keep their own emotions out of the picture. Men make a lot of quiet sacrifices and never flip out on their partners just to get credit for them.

Frequently, the health and security of a relationship is (quietly) on the shoulders of a man. But do women care?


1 Comment

  1. Although I would say it is a bit of a broad generalization to say that “women are not taught to understand men in American culture” (because I believe we have come a long way since, say, the 1950’s) – I think there is an important point to be made in that men can also be emotional creatures. And because of social learning they are often emotional, or non-emotional, in ways that women do not understand.

    I think we could go a long way in understanding and accepting that men are allowed to cry and be emotional as well, and to understand that we all (sometimes in regard to sex, but also just in general) show emotions in many different forms.

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