Trust: How do you nurse it back to health after a mistake?

Trust is essential to relationships but once it’s broken by a lie or something worse, is it impossible to go back?

He “goes missing” for a night, “loses track of his phone” when you text and when he’s usually surgically attached to it, can’t account for a missing condom, lies about running into an ex, keeps passwords secret. Those are just the highlights of dramatic and scary stories I’ve been exposed to.

Would these things have raised interest before a trust-breaking situation?

You’ve decided to forgive. So you have to forget. Or seem like you’ve forgotten. Then you’re hiding and bearing the burden of a situation in which you were wronged. Seems unfair. So most women (and occasionally men) usually lash out and continue to make their partners pay for a mistake.

Again, forgiving and recovering seem impossible.

American relationships are rarely healthy. I’ve been trying to relearn the poisonous habits I’ve absorbed so far, but it seems fruitless. Even with the support of a patient and smart man, doubt often sneaks into my thoughts.

American women have trouble separating their emotions from logic. Why do we raise our daughters to be this way? Why do we tell each other and ourselves it’s alright? Why can’t I, like most, escape the grip of emotional instability?

So my question is: keep the burden of trying to forgive to yourself? Act like (sorry,but…) a bitch about it? Or is my American girl brain blocking a third option from view?

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