Nightlife relies heavily on drug use. No wonder drinking and drug use is rampant.

I’m a I’m a 22-year-old female college student, so my Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights must involve applying 8 coats of mascara, straightening my hair, and trying on 18 “outfits” before opting for two pieces of fabric that only dolls consider shirts and skirts.

After hours of this productive routine, I love to go to a club or bar where I demonstrate my class by pounding back as many drinks as possible (is there any other way to look attractive?), developing drunken tunnel vision and deciding that my time is best spent “dancing” (aka spazzing like someone with an IQ of 50 trying to imitate an adult entertainer) on top of a shaky table.

Of course once I do this, all of the most attractive, wholesome men in the room want to talk (because they care about my brain) to me. Beyond this, I don’t remember what happens, but I wake up (hopefully not alone, of course, or it would be an unsuccessful night) to spend the following day (or probably what’s left of the afternoon) nursing a vicious hangover (ugh, I feel like death) before rinsing and repeating. And oh my gosh. How did I even get home last night?! Hahaha.

Yea, NO. No freakin’ way.

I can’t say I’ve never partook in some of these activities. Yes, I have gone out for drinks. And yes, sometimes we danced. But the word clothing described what I wore. And if a man approached me with anything less than something funny or polite to say, my response was a fun, embarrassing surprise. I had a safe way to get home, I went there alone and I drank as much water as I did alcohol.

I recently decided to quit drinking, period. The reasons: to shed myself of any lingering bits of the above lifestyle, general health reasons, and to ensure that when I say alcohol is a dangerous poison that causes social problems, I never look like a hypocrite by consuming it.

As I am considering the implications of this decision, I caught myself wondering about what things there were to do late at night for people who don’t drink. I’m at a loss now, but I’m determined to find wholesome things to do after 10pm in Baltimore.

Look for posts on late night activities soon. In the meantime:

Do you have any suggestions for places to go? Or things to do? What’s your opinion on rampant alcohol consumption?

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